Organizing the funeral or wake of a loved one can be an extraordinarily difficult task. However, funerals and wakes are momentous events that allow friends and family to come together to say farewell to a loved one.
Our customizable beverage and catering options make planning a funeral and wake easily so that you can spend more time with your friends and family and less time stressing out about your service.
As a family-owned and run business, we understand how difficult these kinds of events can be and how sensitive these moments in life are, so you can always count on our friendly events team for warm and sympathetic care and professional and reliable service.
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At Foothills Conference Centre, we offer a range of flexible packages for funerals, wakes, and other kinds of memorial services.
Funeral vs Wake
What is a funeral?
For thousands upon thousands of years, human beings have commemorated the loss of loved ones by engaging in funeral rituals and rites. Funerals look different across different cultures, religions, and communities, so what exactly is a funeral and why do we hold them?
Funeral rites are as old as human culture itself. The earliest human burial can be traced back 78,000 years to Africa, to the burial of a young child in a cave near the Kenyan coast. Although funeral rituals vary according to culture, religion, and history, they all share one key purpose: to remember and commemorate the dead .
In Australia, a traditional funeral is most commonly presided over by a director of a funeral home or an officiant of a church. These types of funerals are usually held at a funeral home, or a cemetery, or a place of worship like a church. Sometimes the body is present, and other times not. In instances where cremation was chosen by the family, the urn may be present in place of a body. The exact proceedings of a funeral will vary depending on the beliefs and preferences of the person being honored, but most funeral services will follow some sort of formal program.
The ultimate purpose of a funeral is to send off a deceased person to their final resting place. However, funerals are also significant events for the family and friends of the person who has passed away. Funerals bring comfort and peace to those who are mourning and provide an opportunity for people to come together to share in the sorrow of loss, to reminisce and tell stories, and to pay their respects to a life well-lived.
What is a wake?
A wake was originally a form of a vigil, which provided the family and loved ones of the deceased an opportunity to come together to pray for the deceased and to keep watch of them before they were buried. There was a superstitious element to this practice; it was believed that the body had to be watched off to ward off evil spirits and to prevent spirits from removing the body. Since awake traditionally took place right after a person passed away, wakes were held in the deceased person’s home – often at their bedside.
These days wakes in Australia are most often held after the funeral and burial. In some cases, wakes replace funerals altogether. For some countries, like the United States, a wake is synonymous with a ‘viewing’, and takes place before the funeral and burial. However, here in Australia, wakes are almost always held after the formal funeral service and be very informal in nature.
Wakes were traditionally are held in the home of the deceased, but modern wakes can take place almost anywhere, be it a bar, a venue, or someone’s home. The ultimate purpose of a wake is to offer friends and family the opportunity to remember the deceased person and to offer their condolences in a relaxed and informal environment. Food and beverages are also usually served, which makes the occasion more of a social one than a formal one.
Funeral & Wake Etiquette
If you’ve never attended a funeral or a wake before, it may be a good idea to freshen up on some of the etiquettes that surrounds funerals, wakes, and other similar types of memorial services.
If you’re not sure what to wear, you can read about funeral attire on this page: What to wear to a funeral
If you’re the family, friend, colleague, or acquaintance of a deceased person, it’s appropriate for you to attend their funeral. Showing up to a funeral shows their family that you care. If you aren’t able to attend, it’s still good etiquette to send a sympathy card or letter along with a small gift, expressing your regret that you weren’t able to be there in person.
Funerals are usually more formal than a wake, so there are certain practices that are commonly observed. These include:
- Expressing your sympathy – Depending on how close you are to the family of the deceased, it may be good etiquette to visit them at their home prior to the funeral to offer help. Things like offering to mind their children or bringing along a home-cooked meal go a long way in showing them that you’re there to support them during this difficult time. However, be mindful to keep these visits short so as to not overstay your welcome. If you’re not very close to the family of the deceased, then the funeral is the best time to offer your condolences.
- Sending flowers – Gifting a bouquet of flowers is a great way to express your sympathies to a grieving family. You can either send the flowers to the family home, bring the bouquet with you to the funeral, or have it delivered to the funeral home so that they’re present during the funeral service. Common funeral flowers include lilies, carnations, roses, and orchids.
- Observing seating arrangements – Like weddings, there are usually specific seating arrangements at funerals. Unless specified otherwise, assume that the first few rows of seats are reserved for the close family and friends of the deceased. All other guests should sit in the remaining rows.
- Following a dress code – Although wearing black to a funeral is traditional, it’s no longer essential that black is worn by guests. However, you should still opt for understated, conservative options. When in doubt, it’s always best to err on the side of caution. Sometimes, the family may request guests to observe a specific dress code. In these cases, it’s entirely appropriate to follow the wishes of the family.
- Arriving early – Being punctual is a sign of respect. It’s good etiquette to arrive about 10-20 minutes before the service is scheduled to start to allow yourself some time to interact with other guests. If you do arrive late, find a seat at the back so as to avoid disrupting the service.
A wake is usually more of an informal affair than a funeral; however, you should still dress and behave respectfully. General etiquette rules that can be applied to both funerals and wakes include not using your mobile, using your discretion when taking photos and avoiding sharing any photos on social media.
FAQ
What is the difference between a funeral and a wake?
The main difference between a funeral and a wake comes down to the fact that a wake is much more informal than a funeral. Generally speaking, funerals and burials are somber and formal affairs, with speeches and other formal proceedings.
Depending on the beliefs and preferences of the deceased person, the activities carried out at a funeral and burial may also hold religious or spiritual significance.
In contrast, a wake is an informal gathering held for friends and family where food is served and drinks are poured – all in the name of paying respects to a loved one who has passed on.
Both funerals and wakes provide mourners the opportunity to share their grief and lean on each other for support during a difficult time.
Holding a wake isn’t a necessity, but a wake can be a wonderful way for guests to gather together in a relaxed environment to share memories and enjoy each other’s company following an emotionally charged day.
What are the COVID-19 rules for funerals and wakes?
As of December 2021, there are no density limits or caps for funerals and wakes in Victoria, granted that all the guests in attendance are either fully vaccinated, in possession of a valid medical exemption, or under the age of 12 years and 2 months.
If vaccination statuses aren’t checked, then funerals and wakes are restricted to density rules of 1 person per 4 square metres and a venue cap of 50 people per venue. Persons required to conduct the funeral or ceremony – such as the funeral director or the pastor – aren’t included in these limits.
At Foothills Conference Centre, we understand that organizing a funeral or wake can be difficult even at the best of times. Navigating COVID-19 rules only compounds stress in what’s already a highly stressful situation. That’s why we offer flexible COVID-19 cancellation and refund policies for all events that are booked with us.
Would you cater for a Catholic funeral or Christian funeral?
At Foothills Conference Centre, we cater to groups from all religious backgrounds.
If you’re looking to host a Catholic funeral or a Christian funeral, come visit our diverse events space to see how we can help.
Today, Christianity is the world’s largest religion, with over 2.4 billion adherents across the globe. As a diverse religious group, funeral practices can vary significantly depending on denomination and location.
Moreover, proceedings at Catholic funeral services and Christian funeral services are always tailored slightly to suit the tastes and preferences of the deceased.
Items such as prayers, sermons, readings, and hymns will all be carefully selected so that the program truly honours the person who has died in a meaningful way.
Our events team understand how personal and emotional the process of organising a funeral can be.
That’s why our on-site team will always endeavour to work as closely as possible with you, your family, and your funeral home to ensure a seamless, stress-free planning process.
Should a wake be held before or after a funeral?
Historically, wakes were held as soon as a person passed away.
They provided the family of a deceased person an opportunity to come together and keep watch of the body as they prepared it for burial.
These days, wakes are more commonly held after a funeral. Modern wakes can be held almost anywhere, be it a bar, a restaurant, or an events venue.
A wake after a funeral is a wonderful way friends and family to come together to celebrate the life of the deceased person in a relaxed and informal environment.
Food and beverages are usually served at a modern wake, which creates a great atmosphere in which happy memories and stories can be shared.
Are there any unique features of a wake and funeral in Australia
Like all social rites and rituals, wakes and funerals have evolved over time and across geographic boundaries to suit local populations.
As such, Australian wakes and funerals have unique features that differentiate them from other countries’ practices.
In Australia, a wake is almost always held after a funeral and once burial has been completed. In some other countries, a wake is more commonly held prior to burial.
In addition, most Australian wakes are more of a social occasion than a religious occasion; food and drink is usually served as a way to encourage an informal and casual atmosphere.
Hosting a wake isn’t essential in Australia – ultimately, it’s a personal decision that is made according to the wishes of a deceased person and their family.
The features of Australian funerals will vary significantly depending on the deceased person’s religion and their personal beliefs.
The diverse nature of Australian funerals differentiates them from funerals in some other countries, where there may be strict customs that are adhered to.
In Australia, no two funerals look the same. Some funerals can be very formal while others are very casual. Some funerals are held in places of worship, while others are held in secular settings.
Funeral & Wake Venues in Melbourne, Victoria
At Foothills Conference Centre, we welcome funerals, wakes, and other memorial services.
Our rustic native gardens provide the perfect backdrop for you to say goodbye to a loved one.
Our in-house events and catering team takes pride in their service and attention to detail.
We offer a range of budget-friendly packages to help you honor and celebrate the life of your loved one in a relaxed and memorable environment.
Call us on 1300 341 630 or email enquiries@foothillscc.com.au to find out more about our compassionate and personalized memorial service packages.